When it comes to divorce a lot can be learned from Katie Holmes. Most women who get divorced are usually the David against the Goliath (husband) and usually don’t come out ahead. In the case of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, David wins again. Not only did she catch Tom by surprise (maybe?), she seemed to get everything she wanted in the end and quickly. The key to Katie’s success was the one thing most women seeking divorce don’t do – PLAN.
That is correct, plan. She was able to put things in order before filing for divorce. She knew that Tom Cruise had way more money than she had at his disposal and this could afford him the upper hand in a divorce. Sounds familiar? The average woman in a marriage doesn’t make half as much as their husband’s which usually puts them at a disadvantage when filing for a divorce if they don’t plan well. Women today could learn a lot from Katie Holmes, she changed her cell phone, got a new apartment, consulted a lawyer, got a new bodyguard, etc.
She did it in a way that he would not become suspicious. She told him she needed the apartment for security reasons, change her cell phone to disconnect herself from his friends, got a new bodyguard so the new one would have allegiance to her only. This was brilliant planning for women whose life is constantly in the spotlight. I totally applaud Katie Holmes not just for what she did for herself and her child but she now has left a blueprint for other women to follow.
So ladies, if you think you can get a fair divorce settlement from a powerful, controlling husband – think again. Think Katie Holmes.
The second article I read in The New York Times was by Heather McDonald, a stand-up comedian, a series regular on “After Lately”, a writer and producer for “Chelsea Lately” and author of “You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again”. The name of her article is “Working Moms Are Right to Be Realistic”. In her article she talks about attachment parenting and working mothers. Heather started by admitting that she never breastfed either of her two sons and two months after her oldest son was born she had an opportunity to work on a film. She felt she would have turned them down if she had been breastfeeding. She also said the bonus of using formula was that her husband did every 5 a.m. feeding for both boys. I like her statement, “being a mother is part of who you are, but should not be all of who you are”. She stated there is no parenting secret that ensures that your child will grow up and be a successful adult. In the article she also made this amazing statement, “No, I did not breastfeed, make organic baby food or co-sleep with my children. I instead slept with their father and am still happily married to him today. Plus, believe it or not, neither of my formula-fed sons have ever had a fever, an earache or even been on antibiotics”. She also mentioned her oldest son is the tallest on his baseball team and when asked by the other team’s mom what she was feeding him, she proudly said: “Cow’s milk and animal meat bought from a regular grocery store”. What do you think, can you be a working mom and attached? Would you give up breastfeeding your baby to see your spouse bottle feed and create a bond with his baby?